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So, in order for me to process and expel the image of you drunk and crying because you're having a cocaine freakout while dressed as Tweety Pie at a freshers' party, and still be able to fuck you after that — I'm going to have to tell my friends.

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We were about 15, sitting in her bedroom after the wake and I told her about how I thought that to achieve an erection, boys had to slap their dicks upwards, like a paramedic trying to rouse a comatose drunk.

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This Is What Girls Actually Talk About

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These are all sentences I heard in the past couple of weeks at parties, pubs and over lunch.

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Now you know why your lady friends sometimes get silent and weird when you come out of the toilet at the pub.

Description: We haven't lost our depth and no, it has nothing to do with Samantha from SATC either; that show finished four years ago, get some new fucking references.

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